How to crack waking up in the morning

Do you have trouble waking up in the morning, well here are a few tips to help you?


  • Buy a pet – cats or dogs are brilliant at waking you up. Their persistence knows no bounds. A face full of slobber from a dog is a sure way to wake you up. Alternatively being stabbed by a cat’s claws has the same effect.



  • Have children – this will permanently work as each morning their bright faces excited about a new day will be thrust into your face until you get up. If this does not work then their constant bouncing on exhausted body ought to.



  • Use a silly alarm – my favourite was a train that screamed at you “get up the train is leaving” hooting continually. Unfortunately, it got smashed by my husband who didn’t want to get up at the same time as me.



  • Forget to tidy your bed of lego or biscuit crumbs – sharp objects or irritating bits of food cause irritability to the body, thus making the bed uncomfortable to stay asleep in. Getting up and cleaning it will make you get out of bed.



  • Sleep in a room with a dripping tap. This annoying noise will repeatedly irritate you during the night and morning will be a blessed relief when you get up.
  • Buy a recording of a baby crying. That maternal or paternal instinct will kick in willing you to nurture the baby until of course, you realize you don’t have an infant in need of your help. Heyho you are awake so you may as well get up!
Have I missed a great tip? Include your own in the comments. Happy waking up in the morning.


Brawny and Flap and the spaghetti bolognese incident

Am I the only one who hears voices?

What is it with Spaghetti Bolognese and superheroes?
The evening meal was ready to be dished up 

I took out the dinner plates from the cupboard above me. Carefully placing the spaghetti bolognese on the top one, I proceeded to take it into the dining room. As I turned and made a step forward (and this is better if viewed in cartoon form) my eyes suddenly realized that I was about to smash into the cupboard door that I forgot to close.

My head stops within a millimetre of the door
“Super emergency brakes Brawny that was close.” 
My body continued, then decided that it would prefer staying attached to my head. 
“Indeed Flap,” said the other superhero. However, the spaghetti bolognese and plate sailed separately onward and smashed into the wall
Flying splatter Brawny, that is not good.”
I closed the cupboard door and moved towards the mess.
“Definitely not good Flap” and slipped on a stray piece of spaghetti ending up on parade alongside the new wall decoration.
The kitchen door began to open“Startling entrances Brawny this is not going to end up well.”
I yell, “don’t come in.”
But a foot connected with the slippery substance and my hubby flew past and crash landed – “Flap, I think we have a bad case of slipitus.” 
“Not to worry Brawny I will use my cape to boldly go where no man has gone before. Or perhaps not, spag bolognese would clash with my colour coordinated pants and tights.”
Maybe Flap, but we have to do something.” 
A voice came from the other side of the door 
“What’s going on?” Trying to warn my daughter that we had a slight problem, I reiterated the warning, “don’t come….” too late. Another body slipped past but this time gracefully recovered gliding along the floor ending up with a ‘ta dar’, arms stretched out in a state of gymnastic pose.
Lightning gymnastics Brawny, she is good. Yes, I think we have our solution Flap.”
Extending her hands, a confident spaghetti skater helped me stand up as I wobbled to a high stool. Next, she did the same for my hubby. Next sticky strips of pasta were peeled off the floor and thrown away, the wall quickly washed down, smashed plate pieces collected and dinner once again ready to be dished up. My daughter told me to strip off and frumpy clothes were found for me to change into. 
“Speedy quick thinking Brawny, I think our work is done here.” 
“Yes Flap, another successful cleanup. Biff, baff, boff, time to put our feet up.”
And the moral of this tale, forgetfulness can be dangerous, so remember friends, don’t leave cupboard doors open. 
Now, where have those pesky superhero’s gone, I want a word with them. 
Did you enjoy this short story? Comment below and let me know.