How to derail my crazy life
Last July I wanted to know how to derail my crazy life. I didn’t want another tomorrow struggling. I yelled out imploring someone to give me the key to this knowledge. Alright, smart-aleck don’t tell me the answer is 42 as I won’t believe you. Computers lie!
So looking in the mirror back then, I sensed that “over the hill feeling” as I am onto my last year in my fifties. Or at least that is what my body kept telling me. I am not listening. Bodies lie trust me!
Then my mind told me I am too tired to try. Don’t buy into that either – minds can lie too.
The truth is, life is crazy and jumping off the train delivering me to my final station, takes guts. I didn’t want to go there, not then, nor today. I dreamed of hurling myself into the green pastures, but the side of me that says no won every time. Instead, I watched it flash by and continued on my insane path.
I had been killing myself, listening to the lies.
(Trumpet blast, please.)
Very funny, I knew someone would take the mick!
Not anymore though or at least not since last July because I know how to derail my crazy life now.
I did jump off the train – and I survived!
Let me introduce you to a few of my secrets…
- Change does not hurt – it empowers. Well, the right changes do. If I decided only to change my socks once a week, then the result would be smelly feet! Not helpful for those who live with the odour under their nose.
Sorry I got sidetracked there.
Change does not hurt – it empowers. Those green fields, my hopes, stretch out before me. My mirror still lies, but then it is now confused as it used to reflect a warthog. I am hoping in time to see a dancing flamingo with a pink tutu. Ok, I can hear you laughing.
2. I was ready – it is difficult to achieve targets when we are not prepared for such a change. However, feeling frumpy, tired and older than my years I wanted that challenge. Mind you having skinny daughters reminding me of what I looked like in my hay day contributed to the final decision.
3. My posterior was too big! – Alright, my bottom looked like a flattened molehill, ok I surrender, more like a squashed mountain. Happy now? It still does as it refuses to budge those wobbles, but I think it is getting smaller.
4. Lettuce and cabbage are fighting for my affections. Along with carrots, peppers, courgettes (Zucchini), leeks, fine beans, peas, broccoli, garlic and onion. There are probably more, so I just hurl them into the pot with little attention to detail. The more, the merrier I say as they are all speed or free foods. Warm veggie soup on a cold winters day. Am I enticing you to have a go?
Sheesh, you’re a tough crowd.
Well, if that doesn’t get you off your couch and munching on something good for you perhaps this achievement will.
Yes, folks, I have lost two stone or 28lbs. That is several tyres around my waist gone, and I don’t look pregnant anymore. However, I am not sure where to balance my cup of tea now!
I can hear someone clapping, thank you, that is most kind.
That calls for a toast, uh ho, I have had my healthy B choice for today, so that is out unless I syn it. Suffice it to say I now know how to derail my crazy life and get back on track for a healthier future. I still have some way to go, but the tools and knowledge are there for making this happen.
Don’t do this alone
What I do recognise is that this is a tough lifestyle change to manage on your own. And that is what has made the difference. Before, I would take on the challenge and survive for a while, then slink back to the old ways with a vengeance.
I miss somethings, like a large packet of peanut M&M’s or a giant size bar of fruit & nut – no wonder my bottom sagged under the fat strain! What I don’t miss is the gasping for air after climbing one flight of stairs, the pain in my knees as I walk and not being able to keep up with those pesky snails.
By the way, it is about six weeks to Christmas, just thought you might like to know. Perhaps you could put in a good word to Father Christmas – I wouldn’t mind an apple mac! No that is not a Slimming World version of a MacDonalds.
So to all those who are staring in the mirror longing for a magic wand to change their image – tough they don’t exist. But there might be a Slimming World group near you to support the beautiful girl/boy within that yearns to burst out in a pink tutu.
Till next time, keep smiling,