Ten crazy sure ways to slim – get those pounds dropping, pound by pound. Read these ten pointers, and you could be on the new path to a new you!
Here’s the first three…
1. Duck tape is your next best friend for slimming – apply to your mouth and snort your food instead. Watch the pound(s) drop!
2. Throw away all your knives and forks and use a straw instead!
3. Get your partner or friend to tie your hands behind your back at meal times. Enjoy a Warthog’s view of dinner time.
Now the next three…
4. Ask a partner or friend to drop you off in the desert and make your way home. Warning: Side effect – head can pound from too much time in the sun.Wear very tight trousers over your stomach – better than a gastric band, then ask the dentist to wire your teeth together.
5. Wear very tight trousers over your stomach – better than a gastric band, then ask the dentist to wire your teeth together.
6. Only buy dog or cat food and fight with your pet for your tea. If you start to look like a dog, be careful of the dog pound.
And the final four…
7. Fragrant your house with rotten eggs. Then, invite friends around and play “find the smell” while jumping up and down to head banging music.
8. Remove all the carpets in your house and give them a good pound in the garden. Warning: Do not inhale the dust as this could lead to a coughing fit. If your carpets are not dusty enough, encourage a friend to play parachutes with you, and one, two, three, up then down one two three.
9. Alter the scales to the correct weight you require for the perfect body!
10. Wander into a field of bulls wearing red – don’t forget your trainers! If you get out alive, you will be a pounds lighter!
Alternatively, stop your whining and eat lettuce like I am. 🙂 or find the magic tablet that the genie hid!
Oh, one factual piece of information frowning makes you lose more calories than smiling! Why can’t it be the other way round?
Pound for a pound
Have you any sure fire ways to loose those pesky pounds – get in touch and tell me about them?
May the scales be on your side.