That assassin is lurking again; he doesn’t show his face anymore. Instead, he hides in my subconscious waiting for the right moment to attack. He loves my mirror image, but I hate my reflection staring back at me.
“Look at that stomach; it’s larger than a humpback whale!”
Hitting where it hurts
Talk about below the belt. I am trying right – but the assassin loves to criticise.
Did you know a baby humpback whale weighs 1 ½ tons when it’s born?
Gee if I weighed that much I would look like a blob – hardly very flattering. But the assassin doesn’t do flattery! He can be cruel with his words and will take no prisoners.
Have you heard him recently?
The assassin strikes
Before I started Slimming World, there were many comments thrown my way by the inner voice. So many in fact that I felt crushed by their constant attacks.
That uncontrollable feeling of not being in charge, of desperation that accompanied those hurtful words. I couldn’t break free.
The assassin had me by the short and curlies.
Have you felt like that?
That blob feeling
Well, I did feel like a blob if I am honest – that overwhelming tiredness that hung to my every move. My arms and legs doubled for two full barrels of beer; only I didn’t get to enjoy the contents! The haziness of my mind blurred the day to day joys and left me a victim of my bed. The assassin lurked too close for comfort laughing as I struggled.
I felt so alone.
Do you know what changed?
Slowly I began to push away from the assassin’s control. I refused to hear his debilitating voice. Instead, I looked in the mirror and saw someone beautiful, overweight – yes, but underneath the exterior image, a stunning woman of great character shone through.
A simple solution?
So I asked for help. Simple as that – although it wasn’t that simple. I don’t do requests for help. I am a manager, except I wasn’t managing. It was my neighbour who triggered my need. She came to ask for a favour, and before I knew it, we did an exchange – I would look after her cats for a few days, and she would come for a walk with me when I felt able.
It was the key that turned the lock, which unlocked the door, that introduced me to my road of recovery.
A simple trade-off.
The decision to change
Our walks were limited but the results remarkable. Criticism took a nose dive, and daily encouragement accompanied us. Then lifestyle became a constant companion, and we talked honestly about how my life could change for the better.
Support is key
I embraced it and Lettuce too, and the benefits are showing daily as I get stronger and lose a pound here and there. However, it is the support that cements the relationship and having that laugh each week at Slimming World spurs me on.
To my assassin, I say “clear off.”
Humpback whale indeed!
Oh, I forgot about the weigh in, this week I lost 1 ½ pounds. That makes a total of 9 ½ pounds altogether – I am so happy.
How about you dear reader, do you have something that stops you from living that life you deserve?