How to derail my crazy life

How to derail my crazy life

Last July I wanted to know how to derail my crazy life. I didn’t want another tomorrow struggling. I yelled out imploring someone to give me the key to this knowledge. Alright, smart-aleck don’t tell me the answer is 42 as I won’t believe you. Computers lie!

My slimming world journey by Margaret Kazmierczak

So looking in the mirror back then, I sensed that “over the hill feeling” as I am onto my last year in my fifties. Or at least that is what my body kept telling me. I am not listening. Bodies lie trust me!

Then my mind told me I am too tired to try. Don’t buy into that either – minds can lie too.

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Warning: remove this assassin from your life now

That assassin is lurking again; he doesn’t show his face anymore. Instead, he hides in my subconscious waiting for the right moment to attack. He loves my mirror image, but I hate my reflection staring back at me.

“Look at that stomach; it’s larger than a humpback whale!”

Hitting where it hurts

Talk about below the belt. I am trying right – but the assassin loves to criticise.

Did you know a baby humpback whale weighs 1 ½ tons when it’s born?

Slimming journal - Warning remove this assassin from your life now

Gee if I weighed that much I would look like a blob – hardly very flattering. But the assassin doesn’t do flattery! He can be cruel with his words and will take no prisoners.

Have you heard him recently?

The assassin strikes

Before I started Slimming World, there were many comments thrown my way by the inner voice. So many in fact that I felt crushed by their constant attacks.

Slimming journal - Warning remove this assassin from your life now

That uncontrollable feeling of not being in charge, of desperation that accompanied those hurtful words. I couldn’t break free.

The assassin had me by the short and curlies.

Have you felt like that?

That blob feeling

Well, I did feel like a blob if I am honest – that overwhelming tiredness that hung to my every move. My arms and legs doubled for two full barrels of beer; only I didn’t get to enjoy the contents! The haziness of my mind blurred the day to day joys and left me a victim of my bed. The assassin lurked too close for comfort laughing as I struggled.

I felt so alone.

My slimming dilemma - Warning remove this assassin from your life now

 

Do you know what changed?

Taking control

Slowly I began to push away from the assassin’s control. I refused to hear his debilitating voice. Instead, I looked in the mirror and saw someone beautiful, overweight – yes, but underneath the exterior image, a stunning woman of great character shone through.

A simple solution?

So I asked for help. Simple as that – although it wasn’t that simple. I don’t do requests for help. I am a manager, except I wasn’t managing. It was my neighbour who triggered my need. She came to ask for a favour, and before I knew it, we did an exchange – I would look after her cats for a few days, and she would come for a walk with me when I felt able.

It was the key that turned the lock, which unlocked the door, that introduced me to my road of recovery.

A simple trade-off.

Slimming journal - Warning remove this assassin from your life now

The decision to change

Our walks were limited but the results remarkable. Criticism took a nose dive, and daily encouragement accompanied us. Then lifestyle became a constant companion, and we talked honestly about how my life could change for the better.

Support is key

I embraced it and Lettuce too, and the benefits are showing daily as I get stronger and lose a pound here and there. However, it is the support that cements the relationship and having that laugh each week at Slimming World spurs me on.

To my assassin, I say “clear off.”

Humpback whale indeed!

Slimming Journal - Warning remove this assassin from your life now

Oh, I forgot about the weigh in, this week I lost 1 ½ pounds.  That makes a total of 9 ½ pounds altogether – I am so happy.

How about you dear reader, do you have something that stops you from living that life you deserve?