The traumatic road
Sitting in the car edging away from my life of almost three years, I jolted back to the traumatic conversation that placed me at this moment heading home.
“You need to sort things out, and it can’t happen here, you must re-enter the world.”
Dread seeped from every pore, panic enveloped me, and disbelief filled my mind. I wanted to scream “No.” I had no choice, however, as my future was not mine to decide – tears cascaded and fear took over.
I had come to escape the world not ever wanting to be part of it again, but here I sat being driven back into it. Shock flooded my senses; my body started to shake, the traumatic conclusion of a hope filled life crushed. “How could they?”
If I could have taken a dose of memory loss instead, I think I would have grasped it with both hands.
Living with rejection and fear following me around, re-entering the world of chaos tore at my heart. Every sinew screeched to breaking point – Father help me, I can’t do this alone.
Oh, how I understand Vikki’s pain. Together we walk the same damaged road trying to reboot our lives.
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My penny’s worth
What I liked
Chautona Havig is a master craftsman when it comes to writing characters. Vikki seems the last person to have a past, but in beautifully scripted form, this young lady steps out of the pages alive with doubts, fears and the handicap of losing her memory.
Trying to piece Vikki’s life together is fraught with realisations – some funny and others disturbing, especially with her friend remembering more than Vikki does about her past. I am glad that Vikki decided not to reinvent herself like Ella in “None So Blind” as I identify more with Vikki than Ella.
Which supporting character did I enjoy reading about?
Brandon – the underdog. I love his humour and knight like qualities. His service and giving. The risk taker who gently woos the girl of his dreams knowing how dangerous it is to do so. And the believer who understands “Faith in Jesus doesn’t promise us that the damage sin has done in this world won’t affect us ever again – not here. But faith in Jesus means it doesn’t win.” I love his depth.
There is also Barney, brief though his role is, I felt myself saying if only…. Churches need someone like him.
“Will Not See” has left me with questions for which I need answers. Chautona Havig you have me dangling – this is so unfair!
Would I recommend this book?
Having read “None So Blind”, I am glad I have had the opportunity to read “Will Not See” and am looking forward to the sequel. I have come to care about these characters, and I want to know what happens to them. So yes I would definitely recommend this book and the previous one too. When is the next one coming out, I need it to tie-up all the loose ends?
*I received this book for free. No compensation was received, and all opinions are my own.*
About the Book
Author: Chautona Havig
Release date: August 29, 2017
Genre: Christian Fiction / contemporary / suspense (light)
When Vikki Jeffries wakes up in a Rockland hotel with no idea of who she is and why she can’t remember… well, anything, the Rockland medical community begins to take a closer look at what may have happened to cause a second case of inexplicable amnesia.
But for Vikki, this is more than a medical anomaly–it’s her life. What is she doing in Rockland, thousands of miles away from her home in Apache Junction, Arizona? Who is she? Why is no one looking for her? Or are they?
Will Not See: Not everything is as it seems.
Book Link on Website: https://chautona.com/books/will-not-see
Sight Unseen Series Blog Archive: https://chautona.com/sight-unseen-series-post-archives/
About the Author
Author of the Amazon best-selling Aggie and Past Forward Series, Chautona Havig lives and writes in California’s Mojave Desert. With dozens of books to her name, Chautona spends most of her time writing, but when she takes the rare break, she can be found reading, sewing, paper crafting, or sleeping and dreaming of finishing the dozens of books swirling in her overly-active imagination at any given moment
Guest Post from Chautona Havig
The circle of death swirls on the screen and it shifts. The bank balance appears, and with it, my heart sinks. It’s been a tough few months, financially. The bottom line proves it.
My reaction? Inhale. Exhale. “Okay, now we know the worst. We can do something about it.”
My husband, on the other hand, suffers a definite blow. Kevin might not sleep that night. Instead, he’ll mull over what we could have done differently, how we can make changes if he’s a failure at this thing called life. He’ll pray—for hours.
They say ignorance is bliss. And sometimes, that’s true. It’s also a personality thing, I think. I tend to be a “let me have your worst” kind of gal. But when the negative arrives, I also tend to want to shield Kevin from it all. I don’t know how he can worry so much. He can’t fathom how I can turn it off.
But sometimes those personality things go deeper—into what can be serious faults. It has been said,
“There are none so blind as those who will not see. The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know.”
Or, in the words of Jeremiah,
“Now hear this, O foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear.”
What does this have to do with not seeing?
As I work on the Sight Unseen series, one recurring theme happens, of course. Memory loss—the removal of all insight into one’s past. You can hear who you were, be informed of what you did and why others think you did it, but you can’t know your own self the way you once did. It’s a fresh slate, and it can be a good thing in some respects.
Those around you can now see the difference between habits and personality traits—true dislikes and those conditioned by life. What might have been a fear once could be gone if the cause of that fear is blotted out.
But even for these fictional characters, truth doesn’t change. In None So Blind, Ella takes her memory loss and uses it as an opportunity to reinvent herself, if you will. And you know what? If you asked her family about it, they’d tell you that it fits her personality. That take-charge gotta get ’er done attitude Dani may have used in different ways, but both “manifestations” of the woman had those qualities. Sure, Ella’s was tempered by recent experience, but not much.
Vikki Jeffries, is almost the antithesis of Ella in that respect.
The past is in the past. It scares her. Is it because she doesn’t know it? Because she’s frightened by the unknown? We don’t know. But what we do know is anything associated with that past, even the few very personal items she finds, she rejects. It’s as if ignorance of them will protect her from them. Where Ella runs to face her problems, Vikki runs from them.
But despite those differences, I find it interesting that both women did the same thing, basically—just at different times.
Before her “episode,” Ella chose to blind herself to her faults. She knew them. Lived with them daily, but couldn’t face or address them. So, she “refused to see.”
Vikki—we don’t know. But I think the story shows that she couldn’t blind herself to truth before her episode. As much as she might have ached to, she just couldn’t. Now that the opportunity is here, however, she grasps it and if she insists on squeezing her eyes shut indefinitely, it may cost her everything—her life. Her soul.
Philippians 4:8, “…whatever is true.”
They say ignorance is bliss. Well, “they” also say, “Truth hurts.” And sometimes it does. But so do the consequences of that ignorance. I guess the next time the bank balance dips low, I won’t be handling the fallout alone. Then again, one can always pray that it doesn’t dip low! I think we’ll start there.
August 29: Just Jo’Anne
August 30: Seasons of Opportunities
August 30: Blogging With Carol
August 30: Lots of Helpers
August 31: Genesis 5020
August 31: Reading Is My SuperPower
September 1: Quiet Quilter
September 2: Fiction Aficionado
September 2: Book Bites, Bee Sting, & Butterfly Kisses
September 3: A Reader’s Brain
September 3: Debbie’s Dusty Deliberations
September 4: Bigreadersite
September 5: The Fizzy Pop Collection
September 5: Mommynificent
September 6: Christian Bookaholic
September 6: Margaret Kazmierczak
September 7: History, Mystery & Faith
September 7: Southern Gal Loves to Read
September 8: Pause for Tales
September 8: Avid Reader Book Reviews
September 9: Blossoms and Blessings
September 9: Reflections from my Bookshelves
September 10: A Baker’s Perspective
September 10: Pursuing Stacie
September 11: His Grace is Sufficient
September 11: Reader’s cozy corner